Long Day

Sylvia had a speech and debate tournament today. They always make for long days and the tournament continues tomorrow.

One cool thing that happened today. We got autographed copies of Glenn Beck's new book. The man himself was at the brand new Books-A-Million here in Brandon for a book signing.

I had to teach this evening... I lost 2 students tonight. One because he and his family are moving to Atlanta. The other one is spending all of his time practicing his guitar and not doing his school work. So, his father pulled him out of lessons. What sucks is that he is one of my students that actually works, practices, and is trying to get better. I've only been teaching him for maybe a month and a half or two months and he's been making very good progress. I hope this will motivate him to get his grades up so he can continue taking lessons.

I'm tired and I need to eat something.

Ciao,
Mark.

Oh Yea!!!

The Down to Earth my space site now has over 2000 hits.

We are also going to be shooting a video on January 18, 2008. We don't have a time nailed down yet and we are in the process of finding a location. I'll keep everyone updated.

Ciao,
Mark.

Heroin Diaries And A New Stroller

Finished reading The Heroin Diaries late last night. It's a very good read. Very raw, exposed, and even oozing in parts... I like it because it's honest. No fluff, no filler, no one trying to prove how smart they are with their words. Just the rawness of a life decaying at its core.

One of my favorite parts of the book was reading about a gig in Hollywood Florida at a now defunct venue called The Hollywood Sportatorium. When I was growing up down there the Sportatorium was a big deal. Anyone who was anyone back in the day played there. Even Elvis Presley played there. It wasn't much to look at... just a big metal building in the middle of the everglades. It was in the middle of no where and no one was bothered by the loud music because there was no one around for several miles. Just swamps and alligators.

My most favorite part of the book is the end. Through out the book several people make comments about what was going on at the time the entries were written. Band members, managers, friends, lovers, even Nikki himself. In nearly every comment by these people you can feel the anger, the hatred they all felt towards Nikki. At the end of the book, after Nikki had gotten clean, the commentary changed. The Crue guys no longer hated him... in fact they look to him for advice and even counseling. It wasn't an easy road for Nikki to get clean. He did in fact, relapse and go back on drugs. He got divorced twice. Today he is clean and even more successful than during the heyday of Motley Crue, when the diaries were written. Very cool in my opinion.

Went to our new Super Target today and got Piper a new stroller. Now we can start walking again. I'm looking forward to getting back to it.

Non Descript Day

Not much going on here. Piper and Sylvia are doing fine. Although Piper has her days and nights mixed up. Other than that... no real bumps in the road.

Got an email from my attorney today. He's ready to sue the client that owes me over 4 grand and hasn't paid. This client hasn't even acknowledged that my attorney is even trying to get in contact with them. Criminals are so stupid. I don't really want to be doing this but this client has forced my hand. I have no choice but to sue and that really sucks.

I waisted my time at giving lessons at the music school this afternoon. Giving lessons blows when the students don't show up. Especially when they don't call first. It also blows when they don't practice and their parents blame me for little Johnny not being the next Eddie Van Halen. Not that I care all that much... when all of my grace has been used up, I just drop them or have them transferred to another instructor. I could give lessons all day if all of my students worked and actually put some effort into what they are doing. The music school doesn't care. Not as long as they get their money. I'm considering just taking a small number of students here at my house. Then I could control what and how they learn. And if they slack off... bye! The only real advantage to teaching at the music school is I don't have to chase after payments. We'll see...

A New Read

I read an excerpt of this book on the web site and was hooked--pardon the pun. Anyway, the book is called The Heroin Diaries: a year in the life of a shattered rock star by Nikki Sixx. If you don't know he's the principal song writer and bass player for Motley Crue. There's also an accompanying sound track by his new band Sixx: A.M. This is some of the best rock that I have heard in a long time.

This book is not for the faint of heart. It's rough, raw, and exposed. One cool thing is a part of the proceeds from the book and sound track go to Covenant House. A home for teenage runaways living on the street. The book is taken from diaries that Sixx wrote over a year during the height of Motley Crue and his descent into a drug induced hell. The book also adds commentary from Nikki, his band mates, friends, ex's, producers, managers, and the like. The other cool thing... Sixx has been clean for over 20 years now.

A Good Day

Church was awesome this weekend. We did some "hey sista, soul sista" music. It was happenin'. Then we just spent the day together as a family and Sylvia and I ended the day at Red Lobster and their Cheddar Bay Biscuits. A little grocery shopping and then back home. It was a good day.

What A Day

For starters the baby was up all night. Sylvia has been very gracious to me by letting me sleep most nights all the way through. Then we had to get ready to go the my in-laws church for the Thanksgiving feast with the extended family from Georgia. All in all that turned out great. I never got the final count as to how many were actually there. I had to leave early to go play at church while Sylvia and the kids stayed behind and mingled with family. There was the uncle and aunt that came in from Athens, Ga., two aunts and uncles from Savannah, plus a cousin from there as well, and a cousin from La Grange, Ga.

In my experience, any time family, at least a large group of related people get together there is always some kind of drama. Today was no exception. One of my wife's aunts that came in from Savannah had stopped with her husband at a rest stop on the Interstate and fell flat on her face! Busted herself up real good. The whole left side of her face was black, blue, yellow, some green... and was severely swollen. After she ate lunch a few of the family took her to the emergency room for a CT scan. Nothing was found and they gave her some drugs to make her comfortable. That was only the start of the drama.

Like I said, I had to leave early for church. It was great. We did some very cool songs during the worship set. After church I went back to my in-laws house where everyone that didn't go to the emergency room ended up. When I walked in I was immediately told that I had "missed" it. Oh, great. What? Uncle J gave granny a wedgie!

Now, granny is my mother-in-law. Uncle J is her baby brother. Uncle J is 64 years old and retired. My mother-in-law is, well, let's just say, retentive. She has a very shallow sense of humor. Not only did Uncle J grab her drawers and give 'em a good yank... he also took a metal cookie sheet and smacked her on the butt! Each time he did this he got my oldest niece's attention and said "watch this." And I missed it.... not only that no one had a camera or a video camera going. What's wrong with you people? My wife even asked when it happened if anyone had taken a picture of it my m.i.l.'s baby sister said "you don't have a lense wide enough for that shot." Complete with hand gestures. To which Uncle J replied "at least not for you two."

My oldest niece and nephew agreed with me that the next time this bunch get together that it doesn't matter if we have to beg, borrow, steal, bit, kick, punch, scream, or cry; we must have a video camera set up and ready to go. These folks are a mess.

Ok, I'm getting sleepy. I have to be at church in the morning at 6:45 am.

Later,
Mark.

I Missed A Day... Crap!

I had been trying to write one post per day for the month of November. November is national blog posting month... Nablopomo for short--or something like that. I didn't sign up officially for the national event but I did take the challenge issued by my buddy Darin over at Interactive Sermon. Darin blogs like it's heroin. He blogs daily and believes everyone should blog. In fact I launched this blog when I found his. I had been thinking about it for some time and finding Darin's blog was the final nudge that I needed to get started.

So, since I did not sign up officially for NaBloPoMo I can get away with doing to posts today. That way I can still have 30 post for the month.

I told you all last Wednesday that Thanksgiving day was lasagne and Italian pot roast day and not turkey day. Well, today is turkey day. Today we are getting together with some of our extended family from So. Georgia and celebrating with a traditional thanksgiving meal. I'm going to have to leave early because I have to play at church this evening. Having said that I need to go do some rehearsal on the tunes. I'll post more later in the evening about the days events.

Later,
Mark.

To All My Family And Friends...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Tomorrow Is Italian Pot Roast And Lasagna Day

Today at 7:29pm Piper was one week old. She is just beautiful! Tomorrow is her first Thanksgiving. It's going to be a get together of the Lee's (Sylvia's side) and the 7 Ellison's. We're all getting together at the Ancient One's (that's what I call my Father-in-law) house. There will be a grand total of 20 family members under one roof. It's going to be a non-traditional meal of Italian pot roast and lasagna because of the extended family that's going to be here on Saturday. We're going to have our traditional turkey and dressing dinner then.

In other Piper news... she had a rough night last night. Actually she had a good night... Sylvia on the other hand... not so much. And yes I helped out too. I helped out as much as I could... Sylvia is nursing her and well, I can't. I mean I could try but Piper would be very frustrated and I would be sore. So my job is to try to get her to sleep. Last night I could not get her to sleep. She faded on me a couple of times for about 5 minutes and the she was on again. Sylvia was up a lot last night.

The coolest and best part of this whole experience so far is just being able to hold her. Tyler, Rachel, and Liam are all old enough to be on the go. They have things to do, places to go, tasks to complete. I can't hold on to them like I used to be able to do. With Piper I can hold her till it's feeding time and when it's over I can hold her some more. I didn't realize this but I have missed that. It's great to see the other 3 kids growing up, becoming self reliant, being able to wipe their own butts after they poop. Before long they'll be gone. It's very nice to have a little one around again.

Just Some News

I'm tired. It was a long afternoon. I had to be at Music Showcase at 4pm to begin teaching lessons till 6, then I had a rehearsal at 7 for the worship services this weekend at church. We are doing some very cool songs this weekend. Songs with lots of soul... and a bunch of white boys playing them. Rehearsal went past 9:15 and I hadn't eaten anything since about 11:30. There is a Chic-fil-a not too far from the church. Good thing.

I talked to James today and found out a company in California called Loggins Promotions wants to take 3 of our songs and test market them. Loggins specializes in marketing, promoting, and tracking artists in commercial radio and tv stations all across the nation. James also told me the bass player we were using a couple of months ago to rehearse with and we even had him go over to the studio and record a bass part, found our my space site and put up some kind of rude, low class message. Apparently he's upset that he isn't our permanent bass player. The reason he isn't a permanent member of Down to Earth is because 1. We had to tell him what to play. No creativity on his part. 2. Because we had to tell him everything to play, he quit. Twice! 3. He talked incessantly about Led Zepplin, or Jimi Hendrix, or Dokken, or whoever... he also bragged about knowing music theory, yet he couldn't even chart out a simple chord chart for our tunes. In other words he talked a lot but couldn't back up what he said.

Now, I'm not burning on the guy... actually he was a pretty nice guy. He just wasn't a fit for the needs of this band. Pure and simple. We need a bass player who can for one, play and two, take direction without getting upset. We need a team player. Fortunately we may have found that guy. The entire band is supposed to get together at DTE Studios this Friday and play. Matt is coming into town tomorrow for Thanksgiving and to rehearse with us. Great things are on the horizon.

In other good news Piper slept through the night last night. Yippeeee!!!!!!

Later......

Pediatric Visit

We took Piper back to the dr. for the second time today. We took her last Friday and the dr. wanted to see her again because of a weight discrepancy. When Piper was born the mid-wife weighed her at 9 pounds, 2 ounces. That was last Wednesday. On Friday the nurse weighed her at 7 pounds, 14 ounces. After the dr.'s visit we went over to Labor of Love, told the mid-wife what the dr. said... she made sure their scale was calibrated and re-weighed Piper. 8 pounds, 2 ounces. Hum?!?

Fast forward to today. The same nurse that weighed her last Friday, weighed her at 8 pounds, 2 ounces. Hum?!? I'm thinkin' the nurse took some creative licence with my daughters weight last Friday. At least there was no charge for today's visit! The short version is Piper is doing great. Healthy as a horse.

In other news... a company out in California, Loggins Promotions, wants to test market 3 or our songs. We have 2 that are almost ready and 2 more that are in various stages of production. After Thanksgiving we are going to word towards wrapping up these tunes, ship them off to Loggins, and get to some Rockin'.

Current count on the My Space page: 1,410 hits.

Pretty Cool!!!!!

I'm out... I've got baby duty. ;-)

Pure Sweetness

Which Superhero Are You?

I found this through a my space page. Being a big fan of anything superhero related since my early childhood, I had to take the test.

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 85% Hulk 70% Superman 65% Batman 60% Robin 55% Catwoman 55% Supergirl 50% Spider-Man 35% Wonder Woman 30% Iron Man 25% The Flash 20%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

More On Piper G

We took her to the pediatrician today and he said she is just fine. Then we took her to the birth center, Labor of Love, where they checked her and Sylvia out. Everyone is doing just fine.

Sylvia, other than just being worn out from her labor, is doing very well. She has had terrible back labor with the other 3 kids and Piper was no exception. Someone was pushing very hard on her lower back the whole time she was in active labor. Thankfully active labor was only 2 and a half hours. With Tyler she was in active labor for almost 8 hours. I spent most of that time with me knee pushing into her lower back. I've witnessed this 4 times now... that's as close as I want to get to it.

The other kids are doing very good with the new addition. Rachel is pretty much beside herself. Yesterday she told me "Daddy, I'm so glad this is not a dream." She's wanted a sister for quite a while now. Liam is being very sweet. He talks to Piper and likes to kiss her on the cheek. Tyler is being "Mr. Cool" but he likes her too. He is constantly checking on his new sister.

I'm being called.... we'll chat later.

Piper Grace Ellison

Piper Grace Is Here!!!

She graced us with her presence at 7:29 this evening. Weighing in at a robust 9 pounds, 2 ounces, and 20 and 1 half inches long.

Sylvia is fine. Very tired but fine. I'll post more pictures later. Right now I'm tired

One More Day...

Tomorrow is the due date. Unfortunately, Sylvia is feeling just fine. Normally that would be a good thing... everyone is waiting for this baby to drop!

More Updates

Only 2 days until the baby's due date. Sylvia went walking with Liam after school today about a mile and a half. She's very uncomfortable right now. Her back is giving her trouble. We're getting closer.

In case I haven't posted what the baby's name will be... if it's a boy, Xander Roe. Roe is a family name on my mom's side of the family. My only male cousin on her side has a daughter and the name will die out so we decided to keep the name going. If it's a girl, Piper Grace. Grace is in honor of our 4 month old niece that passed away 12 and a half years ago.

In Down to Earth news... we are scheduled to go back to Clearwater to Tony's studio to mix 20 Shades of Grey this Thursday. Hopefully by Thursday night or Friday morning it will be up on the my space page. Also, Matt is scheduled to be in town over the Thanksgiving holiday. We are setting something up for Nov. 23 to get together with the bassist we interviewed last Thursday for a full on audition/jam session. We should have it figured out or not if he is the right person for the job. If all goes well I'll post the results here and on the my space page.

See ya,
Mark.

General Updates & Stuff

Church this morning was great. Sylvia stayed home and rested... no real signs that the baby is coming just yet. We are only 3 days away from the due date -- not that the date means that is exactly when he/she will come. So we wait. Oh, and I'm getting hungry.

See ya!

Bass Player Audition Today...

James and I interviewed/auditioned a bass player this afternoon. His name is Steve and he very well could be "the" guy. He has a lot of experience and even though we didn't do a lot of playing this afternoon, what little we did I could tell that he is the real deal as a player. Another good thing is he wanted to work on our songs, which showed initiative on his part.

Matt is going to be in town over the Thanksgiving holidays and we are going to set something up for all of us to get together and jam. Get Matt's opinion of the guy. James and I, at least, felt good enough about him to set this up and go for the next step in the process.

We'll see how it goes.

Ciao,
Mark.

James P.

You gotta love the guy. He deleted one of the "friends" in our my space network because he didn't like a bulletin post the posted. It was titled "midget porn." The post was nothing to do with midgets or porn, just a rant and rave about people on my space just want to up their friend count or wanting comments on their pictures. The post went on to tell everyone to re-post the bulletin and rename it " fake f@#$%^ friends." I sent them a message saying the post was immature and that we would not be a part of that kind of lameness. They sent back a message saying the posted the bulletin because they were "bored" but midget porn got our attention. James came along, saw what the wrote and deleted them.

Way to go James!!!!!!!

I've never been a very big fan of my space. There is a lot of junk and crap on the site. I've even heard it described as a pedophiles wet dream. That's not something I really want to be a part of or want my kids to be a part of. But as with a lot of things in this world it's what you make of it. Are there predators on my space? No doubt. Are there good and descent folks on there too? Absolutely. Personally I don't want my own my space page. The band however is a different story. I think for musicians, businesses, and the like my space is pretty incredible! James and I have been able to make contact with people that other wise we would never have been able to. The kind of networking we are doing through my space was at one time, not too very long ago, unheard of. It's been unreal watching the people who are coming to our my space page. By tonight or early tomorrow we will have had 1000 hits on the site. As of today the site has only been up and running for one month and two days. Pretty incredible if you ask me.

Early on in this my space experience, one of the things that bothered me about the site was the kind of people that are on there. I've seen some rough and dirty stuff on there. Mostly in the form of pictures that people are posting of themselves. I wasn't too sure if I wanted these types of people to be linked with us. And after spending some time with it I've come to this conclusion. We will let anyone join up and link to our page. After all Down to Earth is a Christian band and I don't think Jesus would just turn anyone away just because of questionable character or a racy my space page. When he did walk on earth among us these are the very people that he spent the most time with. Not the religious leaders or the upper class and privileged. He spent his time with the folks who were in the margins of life. There are plenty of people on my space that need the good news message that DTE is trying to spread in our music. Who are we to turn anyone away? That said, the company that James deleted from our network crossed a line. Even if that line was crossed out of boredom or in jest.

What do you think? I'm interested to know.

Baby Shower

Some of Sylvia's colleagues from Brandon High School threw us a baby shower tonight at Mimi's Cafe. The gave us a buttload of diapers, some clothes, a gift card or two, and a car seat. Very cool! They're a great bunch of folks and we are very thankful to them.

Only 6 more days till the baby's due date.

A Good Report

Tyler showed up after school today with his report card. Straight A's. Good job Tyler. I'm very proud of you.

General News And Updates

Things are going fairly well. Sylvia is still feeling very good and is still walking and taking very good care of herself. She's not sleeping too well though. Mostly because she is just in that uncomfortable stage where no matter what, she is just uncomfortable. Last night was the first time I got the feeling she is getting close. She's not there yet (she's not nesting yet) but she is definitely getting closer. I'm ready for this to be over and the baby to get here. In some ways it has gone by very fast. In others not so much. A lot has happened over the course of this pregnancy. The miscarriage scare back in May, the whole shock of her just being pregnant in the first place, leaving one church and finding another, friends moving away, re-connecting with my old friend Darin in New Hampshire for his 40th birthday party (definitely one of the years highlights), Down to Earth starting, finding out who our real friends are... just to name a few. It's been a crazy year so far and probably won't let up very much with the holidays so close. A very large portion of Sylvia's family from Georgia are coming down in a few weeks for Thanksgiving. It'll be nuts for a few days I'm sure. Hopefully the baby will be here before all of them get here. I'm not sure dinner and a show is on the agenda. Then there's Christmas. Enough said.

The other 3 kids are doing fine. Tyler was on the basketball team this year at his new middle school and had an undefeated season. He's doing well in school, as usual. He, on average, always has straight A's. Rachel is doing the best she has ever done in school! Just before school got out last summer we took her off of sugar. The school thought she had ADD and very strongly suggested that we medicate her. Sylvia and I both said no way! Rachel can focus on the things she wants to just fine. We took her to the Dr., as recommended by the school, and at his suggestion we took her off of sugar and all artificial sweeteners. It has made a drastic improvement in her. She was never a behavior problem, she was just always in her own little world. Kind of like her father. The apple, truly, didn't fall very far. Liam is, well, Liam. He's a mess. A very typical third born. Everything is funny to him. I can always count on him to make me laugh. He's the same way in class so he misses a lot the first or even second time around.

Down to Earth is on the move and going great. We are up to almost 850 hits on the my space site in less than a month. We have 3 new songs in the works plus the 3 that Tony, our producer, is mixing. One of the new tune James just wrote this past Sunday. The other 2 are songs that I composed the music and did the arrangement to. James is handling the lyrical parts. Good stuff is coming! The only major hurdle we have to get over is in the bass player area. We have no bass player. I'm confident that that spot will be filled with the right person very soon. It's been very cool to watch how God has weeded out the people who aren't supposed to be here and has put the right people where they are supposed to be. It's been a cool ride.

2007 is not over yet but it looks like, for the Ellison's it's going out with a bang and not a whimper.

Ciao,
Mark.

Pregnancy Update

Only 9 days to go... well, that's the due date. It doesn't mean that he or she will actually come on that day. Anyway, it's getting close!

Road Trip

We loaded up the family this morning and instead of going to church, we got a wild hair and drove up to Ocala to go to church with our good friends Mike & Coleen Wade. Mike is the worship leader at Church at the Springs.

Church was good... lunch was better. We ate at El Toreo. A cool mexican joint that hits you in the face with a pie if it's your birthday. I had some of the best tacos that I have ever had. Plus it's just good to catch up with friends. Especially when you don't get to see them very often. It was a good day.

Down to Earth Update

The band is going great. Last week James and I extended an invitation for Matt Goss to re-join us on drums and he accepted. Matt, roughly 4 months ago, moved to Dalton, Ga. for business reasons. James and I found another drummer to fill the empty slot, but as time wore on it became very clear that he was not the right person for the job. Around this same time our bass player decided he was done. That left James and myself. No problem. The two of us have been busy writing new songs and doing a lot of recording both on our own and with our producer Tony Rockliff.

A couple of weeks ago we began working on a new tune that I composed the music to and have done most of the arranging on. James began working on lyrics, melody, phrasing... all the things that go into song writing and we have emerged with a new tune tentatively titled Little Demon. James likes to call it the "mesmerizing song." It's a hard song to describe... it has a very cool vibe to it with lots of light and shade. It's very moody and in places very heavy. At the same time it's very quite. Like I said... it's hard to describe.

We began doing pre production on it this past week and last night James delivered to me a very rough mix. Rough meaning that the tracks have not been cleaned up, eq'd, etc. and there is a huge "fart" in the middle of the rhythm tracks during the solo section. Stuff that we will take to Tony and he can either fix them or we'll re-record them. The song however is killer... if I do say so myself. The pre production stage is the hard part, for me at least. It's hard not get antsy. I want to have the finished product in my hands because I want people to hear it. I'm finding it hard to be patient. To wait for the process to work it's way to the end. I want it NOW! But.... the reality is is that it's not going to happen overnight. And really I'm glad it's not going to happen fast. I want this thing to be right, not rushed.

Don't forget to check us out on My Space. We've got almost 700 hits so far on the site. Too Cool! Here is the link: www.myspace.com/downtoearththeband

Be blessed everyone,
Mark.

Christmas Gifts From The Heart!

I heard about this web site from the radio this morning. It's called giantmicrobes.com. This what the web site has to say:

Welcome to GIANTmicrobes!

We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete's Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis).

Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.

They make great learning tools for parents and educators, as well as amusing gifts for anyone with a sense of humor!

This is awesome! You can give someone you love bad breath or black death, an ulcer or even mad cow disease. This could be great for the office Christmas party. The boss you don't like... just give 'em a calamity such as flesh eating disease or typhoid fever. That annoying, brain dead co-worker... give 'em a brain cell. The supervisor that just won't go away... give 'em a staph infection. There's so much to choose from.

My favorite part is they say it's a great learning tool. Sure it is. Anyway you gotta check it out. Who knew ebola could look so cute?

www.giantmicrobes.com

A True Story

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.


Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.


Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!